Sunday, November 20, 2011

Three rings on my left hand

Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
   If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
   I must have you!"

In the most unexpected, beautiful, difficult, and raw emotional moments of the past year I found myself calling out demanding for my bouncing lover.  He bound in strong though strangely and comfortingly androgynous.  Not a stranger completely still just interestingly familiar.  The moment I realized the depths of my attachment was while watching my lover expose himself in a brilliant balance of a sincere naive confident conquer.  I keep running the exact moment back in forth, remembering the way my whole body felt the the change, and with a slow gasp how I had to remind myself to breath.  It was one of those unforgettable moments of clarity.  Where past moments push you down with such a force you feel the weight of the fall constantly crushing.  It was with that moment and that release of breath I knew all of the pressure was gone.  Previous pains had finally been given tangible meaning.  I was exactly at the right place at the right time.  He is not who I expected to save me.  Love has its own rules to break.  He is not what you expect.  I can not take him home to meet my dad, though I can share with my dad the offerings of his affection.  He is high maintenance requiring an incredible amount of free time and hard work to improve the movements (and moments) between us.  Ok so he is not really a he.  He is actually the Bellingham Circus Guild.  Tuesday night I was finally able to attend the Guilds monthly performance.  I felt a part of something unlike anything I have ever been a part of.  Now I have only been an official member of the guild since October, but I have been practicing at the space since I moved here in June.  I am still green behind my aerialist ears and have limited interaction with most of the members.  Still there was so much emotion from being in the same space where for many many hours I have spent in personal discovery, but now I was able to see the hard work "play" off by my fellow members.  A moment of full circle honest love.

Now step right up kids and play along with the sounds and images of beauty provided below.  

Whooshy Woo 

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