Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Wizard of Oz

I am responsible for making sure that the sun rises on schedule for the next ten days.  In return there are negotiations being made for me to change the course of rivers and dethrone the master of puppets.  Oh Mr Rob Brenzy how magnificent you make ones daily activities.  I was just going to drink coffee and do laundry.  After surviving and triumphing over the last year I feel fully capable of standing on the edge of the world making sure to bring the dawn.  I have spent now one full year doing as much as I could to expose myself and thicken my skin, all while being even more of a present and active participant in my daily decisions.  Even this blog is a major component of my uncensored experiment.  Life gave me lemons and I turned them into an entirely new plant.  Watch out kids this is a new magic I have been given.  The mechanics of it are yet to be contained.  Though it is brilliant, awkward, often hard to watch, and oh so beautifully honest.    

Brilliant, awkward, hard to watch, oh so beautifully honest






Oh last night I slept in a big blue van, in the trees, with a head full of wine, and a sweet song singing me to sleep...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Care bear stare

I can not believe Thanksgiving is here!  I am excited because I love this holiday and last years was terrible (understatement).  THIS year I am spending it with great friends I consider family and in my beautiful new home.  The weather here has been really lovely, and everyone I know is in great spirits.  It is as if we are all going through a massive communal creative exorcism.  I can feel this uncontrollable energy coming from people, even complete strangers, in as little as a glance on the sidewalks.  I am  slightly dazed by these encounters.  I always instantly feel my toes.  Like they wanted to say hello politely asking for a bit of attention.  The world is forcing me into a mindful "thankful" body.  It is fantastic!  If you too are experiencing this sensation please share it!  The next time you are walking along and a passing glance from a Mr surges through you till you wiggle your toes, regain your composure and pass it along.  As you eat your stuffing this Thursday take off your shoes/socks, and with each bite wiggle your toes in thanks!

Want a little toe wiggling fashion inspiration?  Well then here is a bit of holiday lovelies.  It is cold outside so bundle up head to toe.
Furry Hats+leather+red lips=Welcome Winter I am ready 
Wandering the woods in camo

Barbro is one of my favorite bloggers.  wiggle wiggle

You know Esotban is a bad Ass

Go Estoban Go

http://www.mikkatmarket.com/product/shearling-jacket
Wish list MUST!  It is only $88.  I will love it forever!

This is where I would keep my wishlist pretty.  Also where my toes would keep very warn and well attended   
        

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Three rings on my left hand

Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
   If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
   I must have you!"

In the most unexpected, beautiful, difficult, and raw emotional moments of the past year I found myself calling out demanding for my bouncing lover.  He bound in strong though strangely and comfortingly androgynous.  Not a stranger completely still just interestingly familiar.  The moment I realized the depths of my attachment was while watching my lover expose himself in a brilliant balance of a sincere naive confident conquer.  I keep running the exact moment back in forth, remembering the way my whole body felt the the change, and with a slow gasp how I had to remind myself to breath.  It was one of those unforgettable moments of clarity.  Where past moments push you down with such a force you feel the weight of the fall constantly crushing.  It was with that moment and that release of breath I knew all of the pressure was gone.  Previous pains had finally been given tangible meaning.  I was exactly at the right place at the right time.  He is not who I expected to save me.  Love has its own rules to break.  He is not what you expect.  I can not take him home to meet my dad, though I can share with my dad the offerings of his affection.  He is high maintenance requiring an incredible amount of free time and hard work to improve the movements (and moments) between us.  Ok so he is not really a he.  He is actually the Bellingham Circus Guild.  Tuesday night I was finally able to attend the Guilds monthly performance.  I felt a part of something unlike anything I have ever been a part of.  Now I have only been an official member of the guild since October, but I have been practicing at the space since I moved here in June.  I am still green behind my aerialist ears and have limited interaction with most of the members.  Still there was so much emotion from being in the same space where for many many hours I have spent in personal discovery, but now I was able to see the hard work "play" off by my fellow members.  A moment of full circle honest love.

Now step right up kids and play along with the sounds and images of beauty provided below.  















Whooshy Woo 



Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Transvestite Yeti

I was having a conversation recently with a handsome fairy tale friend about the ever enchanting, never aging Stevie Nicks.   Now growing up my mother and father both played dress up in rock bands, and often I felt my mother channeling Stevie for inspiration.  Therefore by osmosis and the best closet raiding in the entire fifth grade I too found a little gypsy within.  Rekindling this memory I decided to visit my inner Stevie with a little outer dressing.  This is going to require a bit of work/creativity on your part, but I do promise treats to follow.  They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.  Well they bore me!  I say imitation AS inspiration is the most sincere way to use the art of one to inspire more art or just piss others off for stealing your shit.  Everything old is new again blah blah I promise no more cliches in the remainder of this post.  Though I might need to revisit that pitch for revision at a later date.  Whatever right now I will go ahead with my story.  This town is cold!  I have had to get creative with my Texas gal wardrobe.  Luckily I do have a modest array of long, lacy, furry, and velvet treasures, minus a top hat  (sad face emoticon) All of this is wearable clothing I promise!  As much as it may sound like a kindergarten craft scrap box it is my closet.  The key so far has been survival via layers, layers that as of late are conjuring Excalibur gold dust women.  Unfortunately I fell down on my blogging job again and did not get pictures so this is where you must use your imagination.  Hey at least I am writing more consistently (for now).  OH and I have two fans in Russia.  So Украсите себя Russia!  Focus again with me now...I am almost six feet tall and though thin and fit I am still no where near a tall petite.  I am bold with hair almost too long for my age but not yet Crystal Gale status.  I have thick blunt bangs, a long face complete with Cher nose pre any  reconstructions, and Cherokee cheekbones.  Yes there are plenty of photos of me on this blog I am just setting a mood.  So suiting up with bright red lipstick, random placed braids in my most likely unwashed hair, three skirts all of different lengths, wooden wedge heels to set me just below drag queen height, fur lined vest, and grandpa cable knit sweaters I ask you use your inner google paperdoll to conjure the image I have presented all thanks to Stevie and a lack of properly insulated apparel.  For all of that imagining I did promise treats so here are some of my favorite Stevies...  
A top hat!  I need a top hat!

If I had rose colored sheets I would sew them into  a dress/cape  too

So beautiful
I have not decided on my muse for next week.  I do have Sharron Jones tickets for Saturday night so maybe  a little vintage soul?  I am not going to commit to anything right now but I will leave you with my newest trend.  Feather earrings step aside.  Friday night I MacGyvered a bit of face decorating awesomeness.  I have seen these in the fancy pants magazines but I have not ever been able to find one for purchase.  This is frustrating for a women fully capable of making most fashion pieces who is also tragically lazy.  Anyway I now present to you the earring/necklace (ignore the sadness of my emo phone mirror pic for it is all I have)
Oh sleepy little town it is time to wake up. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Glamour and Glitter, Fashion and Fame

The holiday season is officially in full swing!  Halloween was a grand success this year complete with brilliant costumes, trick or treating frat boys, and dramatic unnecessary wine induced crying.  I am proud to say that I was a part of all three of those festive activities.  I am a big fan of this holiday.  I have been ever since I was a little girl walking the suburban streets of Lubbock with my dad, sister, and  jack-o-lantern bucket dressed in the beautiful imagination of my mothers creations.  My mother being the amazing seamstress that she was donned my sister and I in beautiful handmade costumes that I would kill for as an adult.  Sadly as a little girl I remember my disappointing though rebellious fascination with the oh so classy, very shinny Albertsons grocery holiday section.  Here I dreamed of the day I would be allowed to purchase my idea of the holy grail Halloween attire.  This taunted me (and my mother) every year.  It was a simple look but so fabulously pink and fabulously so plastic.  Essentially it was a cheaply made in China tarp with an over sized printed face mask.  To me it was the smell of plastic cool.  I do not remember what year my mother finally broke down and let me get this costume.  It was probably after the year she made me and my sister both beautiful wedding dress costumes and we complained about them the whole night.  I do remember the feeling of trying on the mask for the first time.  It was the sensation of sticking my tongue along the back of the mask through the small breathing slit tasting the plastic and knowing it was mine all night.  I was able to find a picture online of this exact costume...It is worse and better than I remembered.
Truly outrageous 
This year I must admit a major lack of inspiration.  I had not seen any commitment to Halloween from my new city.  There had been many rumors about how dedicated Bellingham is to the season but I was doubtful.  Saturday October 29th 8:00 am while walking to get coffee I saw a group of about six young girls.  This was normal.  I pass these women every morning getting coffee.  They are the apprentice crew from the downtown Tony and Guy.  Now I guess this being a national brand they must keep up a certain image but Tony and Guy girls here look exactly like the ones in Texas.  To help with this imagine black nails. furry boots, asymmetrical haircuts full of bold accent colors, black jeggings, and a lot of early morning makeup. Now on this Saturday my little tortured ladies had woken up extra early in order to add a bit of ump to their hair and eyeliner.  They were all dressed as the hippest of hipster witches and very well done might I add.  To aid in their disguise was an overcast breezy morning pushing around dead musical leaves and a swarm of black crows singing ominous notes of their presence.  In that moment I found my holiday mojo.  I decided on a costume idea, got invited to a dance party, and ate a mini snickers bar within the following hours.  So without further delay here are some images from Halloween 2011.  
The Dear hunter and his dear

The reason I was covered in fake blood by the end of the evening and also my knight in shining amour. 



occupy...get it?  No one else did.  Great costume though

And yes here lies my costume.  A catholic school girl...
Otherwise known as fake pregnant and drinking wine all night.

Happy Halloween.  Play safe it's all I'm saying 
So with one holiday down it is with great excitement that I watch the city begin decorating for my absolute favorite celebration of the year!  Movember I watch with bated breath as you sprout around me the glorious ornaments of your season.  Happy Holidays