Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Normal Blog

I have now been sitting at a coffee shop looking around the room and on the web for over an hour.  I have many ideas today about what I want to write about, but I lack the ability today to bring anything together in an organized story.  I am a bit over caffeinated which I know might be one of the culprits.  I am more so just disappointed.  Most of my blogs are happily sarcastic and curious and I try and keep them that way, but today I came to write with cloudy thoughts.  So I have within the last few sentences decided to dedicate this blog to the extreme polarity of over and under expectations people have shared about me, to me, in the last few weeks.  I have what a sailor friend of mine once called a  "desirable profession".  I put the quotes around both words because my job is often too much fun for me to seriously call it a profession.  Now the desirable part is exactly what your base instincts lead you to, and like the sailors own profession it is not always the beautiful picture of romance and flexibility the stereotype carries.  I am dedicated to my job and all the weight it carries. Meaning that I am constantly working on improving my physical and mental health in order to be a better teacher, and a positive example for my community.  Now a side of gin with dinner, and a powerful addiction to coffee/tacos are all part of the detox/retox reality/balance of the fact that I spend almost all day being physical and love love love these little luxuries too much to give a fuck and deprive myself.  Here is the truth about me and my job, I am boring.  For my friends who read this wait a minute before you start defending my choice wording there.  I say boring over normal or easy or calm or even possibly content.  I am saying boring because this is a word I have recently been forced to deal with myself.  I am boring.  When someone meets a yoga teacher who can also tack on circus aerialist and cross country transplant I am not 100% percent sure but I am 99% sure those can seem like a lethal sexy showpiece.  So just to non-defensively clarify, in order to maintain the ability to do what I do you have to work really hard and you have to work a lot.  I am selective of my playtime. It is not conducive to my central focus.  Lucky for me I was generously blessed with my fathers beautiful clever wit so I am able to make the most out of even the simple situations.  This now allows my transition.  Some new fans have started attending my blog.  AWESOME and thank you so much!  In some recent feedback about my blogging style I was handed a verbal complement that I will loosely translate now.

Your blog has been surprising to everyone.  Since you don't talk the way you write (lie) we were all just so impressed by your storytelling.  It goes to show what I always knew that you have always been smarter than you thought.  It has just been given to you naturally without any work. (ouch)

This is not at all verbatim.  Also note the ironic incorrect punctuation.  I want the party who said this to know I do know you had the best intentions with your compliment.  I received this as a compliment.  Thank you, very seriously.  I am just curious as to how people I know can view me and my abilities with such extremes?   So I write this blog without any pictures or fun stories and fashionable frills as just a normal blog.  Like an extremely public, vulnerable,  and slightly embarrassingly fitting diary entry not attempting to change opinions.  Opinions only create as much life as is chosen to be given to them.  I do things the way I do them because I have only me.  In the end of everything I am only me in my own bones that delicately and deliberately cover my heart and keep the secrets only I know safe.  So a genuine thank you for being honest and helping hold a mirror to things I might not see nor want to.  

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